The Rollercoaster

I was warned that this would happen. Right off of the plane, I was told, "You're going to have good days and bad days. Some days you will genuinely think peace can happen. Some days you will swear it never will."

I consider myself a pretty optimistic person. Especially when it comes to people. For me, everyone is a good person. Deep down, people are usually genuine, lovely people. Of course I'm excluding sociopaths and dictators, but even with people like the child soldiers in Africa...their bad behaviors are reactions to other horrible things. They're very loving people deep down.

After my visit to Hebron this weekend, I'm finding it very difficult to believe in humanity and the goodness of people. I'm not allowed to say anything political online due to my safety and the safety of my co-workers, but the stories I am hearing over here genuinely break my heart. I CANNOT wrap my head around how people can possibly excuse what they do to other human beings. What makes it worse, it that a lot of these things are all in the name of God. I sit and wonder how disgusted and ashamed God must be all of His people. I am not naive to the fact that what is happening here, happens all over the world. And, in some cases, it is much worse in other parts of the world. I don't know what my justification has been up to this point, but there have just been times this weekend where I've just wanted to give up, pack up, go home, and check out...forever. What's the point of even trying?

Who knows...maybe next week I will have a complete change of heart. From what I've heard, I will. And then the next week, I'll change again. For right now, however, I'm just so sad.